Getting over Ridiculous Fears

When I was a small girl, only about 10 or so, I wanted to hold a birthday party. It was going to be THE party, the best party my family had ever thrown (and my family was spectacular at hosting parties). It was Pokemon themed, there was food, there was games, it was a sleepover, and my little brother wasn't going to bother my friends and I. I was ecstatic and had invited half of my class.
So on the day of my party, I stood at the corner of my street and waited for the cars to arrive with all of my friends. When the first car arrived I jumped for joy and hugged my friend as she got out of the car. Then we went to the corner and sat as we waited for all my other friends to arrive.
And we waited, and waited, and waited...
We waited till the sun went down.
We waited until it got too cold for us to stay outside any longer.
No one came after that. There was no late arrivals, no surprise waiting or me later. It was just Emily and I. But even that ended as she got homesick and left early. So I spent the night in a room decorated with Pokemon themed streamers, plates, and napkins. I spent the night close to tears, because of all the things I imagined going wrong that day, being completely abandoned by my 'friends' wasn't one of them.
Ever since then I've been afraid. Afraid of hosting parties. It's a stupid fear, one that doesn't even have a scientific name because it's only me. My Achilles heal is hosting a party. What a pathetic thing to admit.
But this Saturday, for the first time in about 5 years, I'm hosting a party. I'm scared as hell, I'll admit to that, but I think this will help me get over it. I have real friends now, friends who are special to me and who have stayed with me despite my faults. If anyone can help me get over this, it's these guys. So here is to hope, hope that in a crazy world where 10 year old girls get left alone and scarred over little things like parties, I can be cured of the one phobia I can't name.
Cheers.

A Thought in a While

A friend of mine brought up the idea that human ingenuity and imagination was at its limits and that we were now in and endless spiral of reduce, reuse, recycle. I don't believe him, I don't want to believe him. To think that we are at the end of our imagination scares me. I don't want to see a world where everything that can be said has already been said.

He's a bit of a pessimist, I'm not going to lie. I'm an optimist myself. I like to think of the world in rosie shades of happiness and adventure. I think he sees it in the tepid blues of monotony and futility. 

Maybe he's right and I'm just being naive, but for a while at least I would like to be. I like to think the best of Human-kind is going to come in the future. 

On My Shelf

This week has been a blast. From Band performances to the start of Tech week for Diary of Anne Frank, I've been running around setting things up and tearing things down. So I didn't do much reading. That is not to say I didn't do any reading at all. I read the script for Diary of Anne Frank. Not a compelling piece of literature in the normal sense, but it does have a fine trail of drama and cynicism laced through the actions and screenplay. While I can honestly say it is one of the most depressing things I've read, It has a small blink of hope that makes the tragic downfall all that more tragic. I don't think it's bad, but it isn't necessarily the best production I've seen either.

OTHER NEWS: Politics

I won't spend long on this, partly because I can't vote anyway and partly because I couldn't care less even if I could vote. I just can't wait until the ads are gone and I can have my TV back. Also, most of the negative energy will be gone. I hate election years, they bring out the worst about our best. It's okay to be patriotic, but to go to a level where opinions suddenly don't matter and it's about following everyone else or be the traitor who 'disagrees' with your country is just too much. Either way I don't care all that much, but life will be a bit more positive when they are all gone. 1st World Problems.

Let's get ready to NaNoWriMo

If any of you have participated in NaNoWriMo... I'm so sorry. (Trust me, they know what I'm talking about)

For those of you who are blissfully unaware, I find it is my job -No, my duty- to inform you of this wondrous occasion. NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. As the title implies, this holiday is about taking all of November to write a novel. Sounds easy for some of us, but when you actually start to visualize your piece and write down the image in your head it becomes a lot of work. Not to say it isn't fun, but the work is troubling to most. There is a ground rule of 50,000 words for your piece (wow). Most people give up; it certainly is a test of persistence. You only have until the end of November after all.
Some famous books started out this way, like Sara Gruen's Water For Elephants.
Weither you participate or not, I have to offer kudos to those few who do. I might try, I will most likely fail, but it will be a little more enjoyable than what I already have planned for the month. So in the words of an old PlayStation videogame...
Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!